c o l u m b i n a

"by her keen and active wit, she [ is ] able to hold her own in every situation and emerge with ease and dignity from the most involved intrigues." ~ Duchartre

Thursday, May 23, 2002

now playing... "devil may care" cuz i need to figure out where this story's going.

k, so tomorrow i will be twenty. having v. v. bad reservations about this. cannot be aging at such an alarming rate. just yesterday was in high school. also can't believe i'm freaking out this much over twenty- will probably need to be medicated and/or hospitalized for forty.

as have now resumed tortuous work at card shoppe, discussed this perilous development with new girl working there- formerly of russia, been in the country three years. v. complacent about birthday issue. says that yes, twenty was a big deal for her- especially in russia for some weird reason- but that she was cool with it because she knew that she had seen and done things that forty-five year olds had not done- that she had been places, learned things that they would be envious of- that she had led a life well spent up to that point.

i have not. unless i do some pretty amazing things tonight, it shall not be that way for me. i'm going to be the forty year old with the regrets- assuming, however, that i live that long. ("stress- it's a killer." )

yes- that is the prime achievement of my twenty years- i know my entertainment. i know lines from practically every movie i've ever seen, i can recite passages out of my favorite books by heart, verbatim, i know which actor won which award for what film. and that's about it. all i'm good for is a thirty second spot on E! sad, really.

is it any wonder that i quake in fear upon knowing that tomorrow is coming and i can't stop it?

Sunday, May 19, 2002

now playing... "uninvited" and "superman" on loops for the loopy girl

first off- x-files season finale... *weeps copiously* this is not fair. to quote one of my fav eps- this is not happening. it is no more and only dvds can console me now. horrid horrid horrid. my review:

people as ghosts or people who simply never die? csm apparently is dead- again. what is this- the fourth time he's been "killed" off? i would hope that the flaming death they arranged for him in the pueblo is the final one- i mean, those cigarrettes must not taste the same through whatever-you-call that hole in his throat. soma? no- that's a drug in brave new world. whatever.

krycek was a ghost- definitely, cuz he had a real hand in those visions. and marita- she had been left for dead too but apparently is very much alive. and remains so thanks to mulder listening to the vision of krycek. yet- here's a puzzlement- what the heck was he doing at fort weathers? he actually helped mulder there- so it seemed... maybe part of the plot? maybe not even real at all and as fake as the vision of the lone gunman out in the desert?

mista x returns. see, i'd chalk him up to a vision if he hadn't handed that paper to mulder. if he was a vision, how the hell did he get the paper with marita's address? so mista x musta been the masta of all the informants- no one knew that they hadn't finished him off? i'd be willing to believe that- x was always too cool for words.

spender. alive. can't say i'm happy about that. now is the elephant man. i say justice is served and remain disgusted that he and mulder share genetic material. one of my fav scenes of the series will always be- forever and ever- when scully threatens him in triangle- great, great tv!

kersh. wtf? good all of a sudden. don't buy it. will not buy it. not unless the new shadow govt is threatening his life and it means it'll save his ass if mulder lives. not a nice guy. can't convince me otherwise.

everyone was in this ep. though... where the hell was cary elwes?? food for thought. maybe blackmailing kersh into helping. or hopefully working off that excess chin fat that somehow grew between now and the princess bride.

m/s interaction: priceless. "i smelt you coming, clarice." priceless. you knew it was coming. boo-ti-ful. and offering to kiss skinner too... that also was enough to make me bust a gut... lovely lovely lovely. so glad to see david back, if for however brief a time span.

the destruction of the offices- sacrilege. whoever took the 'i want to believe' poster off the wall should be hunted down and shot. period. the sancta sanctorum has been violated and dammit- i want justice!! grrr!

best line for the end of any kind of series: "maybe there's hope." damn straight. fight the power. right on, man. right *on.*

the truth is out there. oh yeah.

*cries like a baby*

oh yeah, and finally posted the fifth chapter, which, as per usual, no one is reviewing. why? why? thought i was doing so well! i know what it is... roxton has been mia in these last few. lustful readers! can't you just expand your historical knowledge! oh well, must come up with scene for him in next chapter or will lose all readers.

the plight of writers... what ya gonna do?

must sell soul to hallmark tomorrow. scary. doom has really come now. must go iron my uniform- bloody khakis.

Wednesday, May 08, 2002

now playing... "the mikado"

i am an enigma. i am mysterious. i possess mystique.

who would've thunk?

just got back from whitney's house where the final's party/end crit continues. hard to believe i was in the first group that arrived at quarter after nine. spend so much time with randomness... but it was good. i feel good. and i haven't felt good in a while so it's even better. but whitney- who apparently has been endowed with the ability "to *get* people" hasn't "gotten" me all semester. i am an enigma. her exact words, i swear.

only in my life. though never in my life... i mean, i shouldn't be surprised, weird stuff, weird people happen to me all the time. it's just another freakish occurrance that's all part and parcel of art school life. but i would never have thought that those adjectives applied to *me.* me = mysterious? sounds so romantic, so film noir, so exciting. there is no mystery in my life. i am simply who i am, with simple tastes. i eat the same food all the time cuz i never like trying new things and i'm quite happy with routine. and yet, this new "enigma" status... i don't know.

have i been wrong about myself all this time? no. she's just misinterpreting shy/quietness. greg knows i'm quiet and that i think even when i don't say things. he knows that's logic and weak socializing skills. whitney calls it elusive and mysterious. even if greg is right (which he is), i think i kinda like whitney's word for it. i am not a shy intellectual- i am an enigma.

she's right though. she mentioned that i need to work on my typography (no surprise there- obviously) but also that the talking and socializing with my teachers/peers gives them insight into where i'm coming from for better and more helpful feedback. which i suppose is right. but then i'd have to give up my cool new status. plus i'd have to talk in class and definitely don't like that. plus the whole "let's socialize and all be friends..." whatever. i am an artist; i'm supposed to be anti-social. or at least it's more socially acceptable as an excuse for anti-social behavior than say... a med student, wannabe teacher or similar.

still, one more class down. two more to go and a paper then it's home free.

i am an enigma. hmmm... i need to think about this some more.

Monday, May 06, 2002

now playing... "while my guitar gently weeps." why the beatle kick all of a sudden? who knows. been like this all day.

sniff, sigh, ahhhh. first class over. too bad the work for it isn't. still have to write that darn paper. but no more roman art class. and the final exam's over.and surprise, surprise, joe didn't make it to constantine. i don't think anyone thought he would. how anyone could talk that much on emperors who barely ruled for 2 years each i will never know. but he's fun. and he gets the quote(s) of the day ( !!)

quote of the day: "i am an imperfect person and i cannot make a perfect desk."

quote of the day, the younger: "...the portrait bust of philip the arab...with his g.i. joe haircut..."

isn't it a kick in the head that my favorite project for bernard is going to be this friggin brochure? had it printed today and it is fiiiine. best thing i've done for the class. fate has quite the sense of humor, indeed. better than my corrupted flash file, alas.

will tackle paul c. stuff tomorrow. grr. hundreds of dollars for prints = bad. = v. bad. = i swear i will physically hurt him if he gives me guff about it on wed.

meanwhile, in the midst of all this madness, feel guilt as must move out by end of the week not to mention update story. story has stagmied. not good. and have such great scenes after the hump that keep getting in my head- friggin plot bunnies. having 39 steps' visions and oooh... is niiiice. will make lovely story if only can move the plot in that direction. unfortunately has stagmied (yes, i realize you know this now but situation has not changed). notice how there's not so much guilt with the moving out... :)

must now work on mint portfolio and enter businesswoman profile. businesswomen do not mess with fanfic. we are professional and create pretty folders about whitening breath mints.

yeah- i think finals is getting to me.